My existence isn’t a reaction to them and my life will never revolve around appeasing them, saving them, babying them, or killing myself on my feet for them. They will never be my end game or what my worth is hinged on in any capacity. They can depreciate a life and suck your soul out under the guise of romance/responsibility and buying into that shit is a trap my life will always revolve around myself forever
When I was in 7th grade I had a male algebra teacher who was probably early 30s. Decent looking guy. I remember a couple other students and I were standing around his desk just talking casually. At the time some celebrity had gotten a divorce due to cheating (I can’t remember who now but I remember that being the topic of conversation) and I remember saying, “She’s so beautiful. I can’t believe he’d cheat on her.” (Which is a stupid statement itself but keep in mind I was in 7th grade and did not understand that a woman being cheated on did NOT mean the woman wasn’t good enough. Like most girls I was raised to believe women had to compete with each other constantly and “earn” a man’s attention.. which is … FALSE!!!!! Thank God I know that now)
And the teacher said “well what’s your favorite food?”
I said, “spaghetti”
He said, “okay so you think spaghetti is delicious. But if you eat spaghetti every single day you aren’t going to want it anymore. so it doesn’t matter how delicious spaghetti is cause you’re going to get tired of it and want something different. That’s just how men are so it isn’t a big deal if a guy cheats”
And I remember how that made me feel even at the time.
I could go on and on about all the thoughts I have on that statement but just the fact that an adult male told me and other pre-teen girls that makes me so uncomfortable and mad looking back. What a dick.
I’ve been thinking back on all the ways men have had terrible impacts on me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually with their actions and words throughout my entire life even from the time I was a little girl. It’s actually really heartbreaking to sit down and remember things you forgot and now see everything that was wrong with them. What’s even more heartbreaking is that I know all of the women reading this know exactly the feeling I am talking about.
When you take the time to embody the energy of what you want to manifest, know that your desired reality is on its way to you. On the surface it may seem like things are happening slowly. But really, the Universe is moving quickly to match your reality to your frequency. You just have to be patient, and let the magic unfold.
“I was so desperate to be understood that I would grab people and shove them inside my heart- where they stuck out like splinters, and it would hurt every time I felt anything.”
